Today I have finally been told one thing about me that is bad, that I was kind of knowing it is bad all the while but I thought that was OK. It is that I have been really cold about catching up with all friends, no matter friends who I quite care about, or friends who I less care, I have learned that not everyone could really take it as ‘that is the way I treat friend’, one of my close friend took it personally that she thought that I don’t like her.

I always thought that as long as I take one as a friend, we don’t really have to do everything together, share everything, talk to each other often, or having lots of interaction on internet, or whatever that is on the surface that everyone could see we are ‘friends’. Even those really close one we used to be, we don’t really see each other anymore because of living in different places, for me, a good friend is a good friend, once we happen to meet up again, we are still going to be each others good friend, even though it might be little bit awkward in the beginning.

x

Kw and me and Tu was at the back of the bar taking our short break and that was the time Kw told me that Tu thinks I don’t like her. Because Kw talk about that in front of her it made me feel a bit of awkward so I just tried to joke it off, by saying:

“Why are you guys often have discussion about me?” and then Kw denied they did and he asked what else he had told me what other people have said about me. I mentioned that the other time he was telling some other thing about me that both of them had discussed about. And then I tried to joke that: “Are you trying to.... to...how do you say that word... to make us feel uncomfortable of each other?”

I was only joking to smooth the awkward situation but Kw got upset by that:“What? Do you think that I am trying to make conflicts between you?” and I thought he was taking that as a joke until he decided to ignore me a short while after.

I knew he wouldn’t be seriously up set but he was at least a little bit upset. When we got back to work, he turned his head away while I was trying to make some funny movement and say something funny to catch his attention. And then he said to me:“I can’t believe you said I was trying to create conflicts!”.

He wasn’t seriously up set and he knew I was just joking, he would eventually talk to me again if I try harder to cheer him up by calling his name in funny way and embarrass him. Finally he told me that he was just disappointed that he was trying to help us and I ridiculously said he was trying to sabotage.

x

We finally had a talk about what Tu had said about me. I asked Kw why is it so matter that I like her or not, though I am really glad that she cares so much about me. She thought I didn’t like her because I never wanted to do things together with her such as go swimming together, watch a movie, let her paint my nails etc, as we had planned before but didn’t make it. I then realize we did plan something together but I didn’t make any of it because of lack of time management.

“Kw, you know what, I think she is right.. I might have unconsciously avoiding her.. but you know I don’t do this just to her, I do this to everyone!”

“I know you are not that kind would avoid anyone, I know how you are, that is why I was trying to help.” and I said he was trying to create conflict.

“Thank you Kw. Now that I know there might be some other friends who take it as I don’t like them because I never bother to invite them to do things together, or cancel appointments, or not greeting them much when I didn’t see them..”

I want you to know that I like you so much and I am so proud of being your friend.
I am just lazy, I am sorry.